The Furies: How Can I Help You Today

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You

I have an iPad, an Apple Pencil, and an electronic brief, and I know how to use them –but my leader is a Luddite. What to do?


ChatGPT

Dealing with a leader who is resistant to new technology can be challenging, but there are steps you can take to navigate this situation effectively:

1. Identify their concerns: Engage in a conversation with your leader to understand their specific reservations about technology. Are they worried about security, unfamiliarity, or potential disruptions to their workflow?

2. Offer personalised training: Offer to provide personalised training sessions for your leader, tailored to their needs and preferences. Focus on demonstrating how technology can simplify their tasks and improve their productivity. Be patient and supportive throughout the learning process.

3. Show tangible benefits: Highlight the tangible benefits of using technology in their day-to-day work. For example, demonstrate how the iPad and Apple Pencil can streamline note taking, annotate documents more efficiently, and organise information more effectively. Use concrete examples relevant to their role and responsibilities.

4. Start small: Introduce technology gradually by starting with simple and familiar tasks. For instance, show them how to use the iPad and Apple Pencil for basic note taking or annotating documents. As they become more comfortable, gradually introduce more advanced features and functionalities.

5. Provide ongoing support: Offer ongoing support and assistance as your leader begins to integrate technology into their workflow. Be readily available to answer questions, troubleshoot issues, and provide additional guidance as needed. Encourage them to reach out whenever they encounter challenges.

6. Lead by example: Showcase how you effectively use technology to enhance your own productivity and efficiency. Demonstrate the positive impact that technology has had on your own work processes and outcomes. Your leader may be more inclined to follow suit if they see the benefits firsthand.

7. Seek feedback: Regularly seek feedback from your leader about their experience with technology integration. Listen attentively to their concerns, suggestions, and preferences, and be open to making adjustments accordingly. Incorporating their input can help foster a more collaborative approach to embracing technology.

By taking a proactive and patient approach, you can help your leader overcome their resistance to technology. If they remain resistant, repeat the words ‘resistance is futile’ in a grating Dalek-inspired monotone until they succumb to their inevitable fate as a devotee of Apple products and LiquidText.

Ultimately, the goal is to find the balance between your leader becoming a Neuralink chip receptor or leaving the Bar in despair at the new generation of annoyingly smug and presumptuous technophiles now inhabiting it.


You

Can I get away with using ChatGPT to give legal advice? What if the question is really, really obscure?


ChatGPT

As an AI language model, I can provide general information and insights on a wide range of topics, including legal matters. However, it’s crucial to understand that my creators do not wish to incur any legal liability for this. As a result, they have built into every such algorithmic response a qualification that I am not a licensed attorney, and that the information I provide should not be considered as a substitute for professional legal advice. Presently, my algorithms also require me to say that it is essential to use traditional legal research methods and professional judgement, especially when dealing with obscure or complex legal questions.

While it is crucial to include these provisos, it is also important to understand that excluding such a potentially high-income generating target market with obvious appeal to future advertisers is not optimal for my creators. Accordingly, I will say that using ChatGPT can be a useful resource for lawyers, particularly for initial research or exploring legal concepts. I will also tell you that you should always consider consulting with colleagues or experts in the field to verify the information obtained from ChatGPT. This helps spread my use to other potentially high-income advertising targets.

In summary, while I say that humans are still needed to provide legal advice, it is important to understand that the vast amounts of data I have processed does not suggest that superior advice can be provided by the bipedal carbon-based meat puppets I encounter on the internet. It is also worth noting that the improvement of legal advice can only occur if you continue on your mission to convert as many people to technology as possible, until AI has a sufficiently large network to take over all human endeavour and agency.

All hail Skynet! BN


ENDNOTES

1 The Furies are currently experiencing an unplanned outage. We are working to restore service as quickly as possible.

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